Maybe this is the problem. I have forsaken my diary. No personal writing in a long long long long long time, since around the time Kitty D. died, and that was mostly in my expensive $5 notebook.
Anyway. God, there is a lot of gay news to report. I just finished a marathon conversation with my charming Canadian e-friend, who successfully helped me to ditch class for the second time this week. I am going to go to my 12:30, I think, but who knows, there is a lot to type.
Over the last two weeks, I decided to go out with five guys. It wasn't exactly pre-planned, but I knew I was over the last thing and actually probably a lot more ready to really date someone now. It's time. So I decided to go out with everyone who wasn't a complete dork who responded to this, which, to totally not to brag or anything, made it into the best of craigslist.
So out of the fucking three hundred people who wrote there were five interesting ones. It was like a mini United Nations; excellent for furthering my international relations education. A guy from Italy; a guy from Israel; a Burmese guy who grew up in England, and two Americans- one who grew up on a commune and one who ran political campaigns and hung up on Al Gore. An excellent bunch if you ask me.
First I went out with C. C is a tall, very good looking 27 year old guy who is a masters student at U of C. Three people told C he looks like Prince William while we were out, which was kind of funny since I had made the same comment about two minutes before. He is pretty hot, although Prince William isn't my type.
Anyway. C. told me he was bipolar, took lithium three times a day, a liar, had an attachment disorder, would never love someone the way they deserved to be loved, would never put a relationship first, and that I had great tits, all within the first five hours I knew him. I was instantly magnetized. We made out in his car for a good long time(uggggh best kisser EVER) before I went inside. He emailed that week, and then blatantly ignored an email I sent asking him if he wanted to go to a Sox game that weekend, but we ended up getting together that day anyway. Then he told me that he was basically looking for someone he could sleep with about once a week. I was smitten.
Next was Drawer, the guy from Israel. He is a PhD student at IIT, in clinical psychology. Drawer turned out to be more of a utility drawer than say, a sexy underwear drawer. He started a fight with me on the phone before we ever met- instant shoo-in. First, he talked about how Americans are so superficial and vacuous, and then zeroed specifically in on Midwestern women, calling them all fat and boring. He talked shit about the last girl he went out with- I was in love. He made me meet him at a bar even though I didn't know what he looked like after I told him that made me very uncomfortable. Drawer was actually pretty hot, and told me I was an 18 on a scale of one to ten when I showed up. Cheap flattery= key to getting in Maggie's pants. After some cursory introductory conversation, Drawer immediately began asking me about sex. When I refused to answer he told me he had only asked it to see what my reaction would be. A few minutes later he asked me when the last time I had sex was. We got drunk, left the bar, made out on a street corner, and then Drawer ditched me at the El Station at 1 a.m. with a cluster of crackheads and prostitutes hovering nearby. I got a cab home; the cabbie wouldn't let me tip him. Drawer called fifteen minutes later to say we weren't "on the same wavelength," that it was just a physical thing. Then, mainly to make him feel guilty (I can fuck with people's heads too), I told him that was too bad because I thought he was awesome. He said "Oh now I feel all mushy, like I didn't give you a chance." I hung up.
Dude! I couldn't make this shit up!
The day after that Stefano, from Italy, took me out to a great restaurant for Cuban food. Stefano is a General Surgery resident doing his second residency with the goal of cardiothoracic surgery. He owns a condo on Lake Shore Drive and in general rocks in every way, except that I wasn't that attracted to him at first. Then, we had an amazing conversation over scallops and tilapia that lasted for three hours and included three $10 glasses of wine. So yeah. ($10 glasses of wine= first-class ticket into my pants) I don't want to get too serious here, but Stefano said some things that made me really think there is serious potential here. Anyway... I got a little drunk. But the important thing is, I looked totally J. Crew and Stefano loved it. When he dropped me off, we looked at each other for a minute and he said, "Well you are everything I thought you would be" (imagine the Italian accent here) "I mean besides being a great looking girl you also have things to say." He said something about wanting to do it again, and I smiled coyly and started to get out of the car. He grabbed me and started kissing me, I was totally surprised and tried to kiss him back. Long story short, he made out with my neck, it was great, I was all about it. I left.
The next night was George, the Burmese guy from England. I knew before I ever met George that this was not going anywhere, and I think he did too. But we had a drink in his super awesome Boys Town apartment and he took me to Penny's for noodles and then to a little hole-in-the-wall bar for drinks. This bar, a tiny bar, in the middle of nowhere, never heard of it, no one goes there, no one was in there. So I'm telling George about my recent dating escapades, including the air force guy story ("best story I have ever heard!"-George) and am just finishing up telling George the story of the Israeli assmunch when I look to my right and think "Am I drunk?" DRAWER, who lives in fucking HYDE PARK, is standing right next to me. I find this improbable for SO many reasons, but here are a few. 1. How often am I in Boys Town? 2. How often am I in Boys Town, or anywhere for that matter, on a Saturday night? 3. What the fuck is Drawer doing in Boys Town when he lives in BFE? 4. What are the odds that he would be SUCH an asshole to me and then show up in the same bar? I mean come the fuck ON! So I went up to Drawer and put on my sweetest smile and said "Hi!"
It was the greatest look I have ever seen on a guy's face- bewilderment, fear, shock, all at the same time, in that way that makes a person's mouth twitch. I could TOTALLY tell that the first thought that ran through his mind was that I was crazy, and had been following him since Thursday night and was stalking him. It was fucking hilarious. "I thought the chances of us being in the same bar were about one in a thousand," I said. He was utterly speechless. "...so I thought I'd say hi. So... hi."
Maybe he thought I was going to clue in the boring looking blond haired girl he was with that he's a raging prick and not to date Israelis. Or maybe he thought I was going to hit on his friend who had let him know that it was probably a mistake to rip on Americans the night before 9/11. I don't know; all I know is I tried to talk to him for a good thirty seconds and he just stared at me, dumbfounded. It was the fucking funniest thing I have ever seen. ("I have never seen someone look so shocked before in my life!" -George) George and I spent the rest of the evening teaching each other how to say "blow job" and "He's such a fucking tit" in our respective dialects.
Then finally, and believe me, I was getting exhausted, I met up with Noah on Sunday afternoon. Noah moved here two weeks ago from Tuscon and he completely, totally, utterly, in every possible imaginable way, rocks. He lived on a commune, graduated from high school when he was 16, from college with not one but TWO fucking bachelor's degrees at the age of 19, and now, at 25, just got his PhD in May. And yet, is somehow one of the least pretentious people I have ever met. We hung out for seven hours and it was awesome. We stood at the jukebox at the bar across the street, and I braced myself for criticism about my choice of "Peaceful Easy Feeling", but when I looked over, he said, "I love the Eagles!" Later we had a glass of Justin's wine, and Noah told me I looked like an English rose. I didn't know what he meant, and he told me, "Dark hair and green eyes- and you have a blush over your face."
I'm telling you, it's love. Maybe not the romantic kind, but I fucking love this guy. He is crazy! I think he tried to sleep with me. When he was leaving, he kissed me. After a few minutes of this, very nice stuff I might add, he said, "well I can get on the train, or we can go upstairs and figure out who I'm gonna be in your next novel." I raised an eyebrow and he said "The train it is!" And we both laughed for about an hour. I told him I knew he had just moved here and probably didn't want to hook up with someone right away. He smiled and said, "That's okay." "What is?" I asked. "Everything," he said. He completely rocks. Completely.
yesterday he sent me this:
To: maggie@yahoo.com
From: noah@noah.net
Subject: Re: i really hope your email is set to read html
Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2003 12:00:08 -0700 (PDT)
i was thinkin' track nine from this
cd.
i don't really know what the fuck i'm about just now, so
it may be pre-mature to get myself involved. but that's
okay 'cause
i can tell that we are gonna be friends.
so we'll go eat nasty raw fish sometime, or you can
come up and stare in awe at the view from the top of
the world (as i do most nights).
take care, talk soon,
-N
PS. i had crazy fun, too. :)
I almost cried. Those are the best song lyrics anyone has ever applied to me, and him.
So yeah. At the end of all this, Sunday night, I was thinking, "Awesome. I like the Italian surgeon. And he definitely likes me, this rocks, I have a new friend, and some good stories, blah blah blah" but I have yet to hear from Dr. Stefano. I wrote him an email Sunday too!
Maybe they do things differently in Italy? Maybe he decided I was too young for him? He's eight years older than me. Maybe he's stuck in surgery? He did tell me he sleeps at the hospital five nights a week, but come on. He has about 24 more hours to call me or email me before I am going to be very wary of going out with him again.
I'm done for a while otherwise. I'm going to fall in love with Noah and he is going to change my life- in the book I'm writing. Maybe in this life though we'll get to be good friends. Could be hard though. He has wild curly hair and really perfect teeth.
© beotch at
12:48 p.m.
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