Okay, so, trouble on the horizon, maybe. I went out with C. yesterday, but first he called me, just to say hi. He's acting very boyfriendly, which I would love, if it weren't for my vast experience with guys acting like my boyfriend/telling me they love me within the first month, and then bailing when they realize they totally jumped into something. So. Anyway.
Our day was okay. I was happy to see him and he had the biggest smile on his face when we saw each other. Without realizing it we had dressed like fucking yuppie twins. We both had on timberlands and north face jackets and jeans. we looked hilarious. anyway, we went to see big fish, which was good. Thing is... this was our second offical date, and he is already acting really familiar. things do feel familiar... but I know how this goes.
Anyway, I think he is freaked out by the fact that he drunk-dialed me and said all that shit friday night. Sunday morning when we were talking, he told me that he felt "found out," (which were actually my words, after the first time we kissed... that I felt found out.) He told me he'd been thinking about me and it since then, and I can tell he feels vulnerable. He acted weird all day yesterday, and kept telling me to please not take it personally, that he is just tired and burned out from going out too much, etc. It was nice when he dropped me off... we kissed for a while and he leaned back and said, "i really believe there has to be chemistry between people, but with you..." he rolled his eyes back and made an explosion noise and a hand gesture and then smiled at me.
I was freaked out when I got home though. He barely smiled at me the whole day and really, i just felt drained and sort of like I had absorbed his uncertainty and self-consciousness. I emailed him and haven't heard back yet.
I've sort of been wondering if I'll hear from him again all day today. I can honestly say I've reached a point in my life where I can see things for what they are. Guys are fools. It's just something I'm going to have to deal with. I guess I should be happy that I have this effect on men, but really, I'd just like regular romantic companion now.
This one might be a man, though. I think he is. We'll see.
Anyway, Saturday night I went out with some people to this dance club and danced all night in my pleather pants. On my way out the door at 3 a.m., I ran into a guy I used to date at Purdue. Five years ago. We sort of freaked out about how weird that was, then I said, "well I don't know what else to say, my friends are waiting by the door," and he said "I know what to say! what's your number?" So I gave it to him. He asked me to get dinner with him last night, but, I had plans with C. so I was forced to happily reject him. He told me he works til 10 Monday through Thursday and then paused and said, "I'll call you before Thursday."
I was going to just not go out with him but I guess if C. disappears after the drunk dial then I have a backup.
Bleh.
Love is gay.
At least I have a great job.
© beotch at
9:45 p.m.
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