[fucking asshole]

[2004-05-03, 3:36 a.m.]

I almost forgot. In case any of you were wondering, L, referenced in my last few posts, was screwing someone else the whole time we were "dating", the whole time he was telling me how wonderful and awesome I am, how he wants to be with me every damn night, how he can see this long-term future for us.

Oh, and he claims he was ALSO seeing someone else. His excuse: "we never said we were exclusive"

Yeah. So.

Oh, and it was a friend of mine! that is the best part.

But, I have no one to blame but myself. I knew he was a prick from the outset but this strange feeling in my chest prevented me from doing anything else.

It doesn't really matter. I am seeing another guy now, I think I'm seeing him anyway. We have hung out twice. It's definitely a romantic context but nothing romantic has happened between us. He seems very respectful, but then again maybe he just isn't into me. But then why the hell would he want to go out with me. Who the fuck knows, I find men mystifying.

He is fucking gorgeous though, in my opinion. Said sweet things about wanting a wife (why do I find guys that say that stuff so endearing, I don't even think I want to get married any time soon) and one of his friends "beat him to getting married." Oh and yesterday he called before we were supposed to go out and was talking about talking to his mom, and said something about her being able to tell something was up and "I haven't told her about you yet." Then she called later while we were watching the Cubs and he referenced me by name. Hm.

We shall see. At this point I couldn't hold my breath even if someone shoved me under water.

© beotch at
3:36 a.m.
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