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[2004-05-26, 3:14 a.m.]

yuck. i feel crappy right now. i just had a conversation with someone very very smart, whom i like. somehow through this conversation, i left feeling as though my intelligence is (or will be), in his opinion, sub-par. Or something. Intelligence has been the one thing about me that I've never had a moment's pause about, so I'm not sure exactly what this feeling translates to emotionally. Disgust? disappointment? I don't know. I am tired of seeing so clearly what will happen before it does. Because then, there is that internal conflict: knowing that I know, but also knowing that it is possible that I cannot predict the future and thus don't know.

I guess I just think that some things this guy said point to him eventually deciding I am not intelligent enough- er, at least, intellectual enough for him.

sigh.

i'm tired.

© beotch at
3:14 a.m.
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